Breaking Generational Habits
Generational Curses vs. Generational Habits
The phrase “generational curses” always gave me an unsettling feeling. Not because I haven’t experienced trauma, but because I don’t want to think myself as being cursed. Recently the phrase has left my vocabulary and I’m replacing it with “Generational Habits”. I believe generational habits lead to painful experiences.
The phrase “generational curses” doesn’t work for me because there came a point in my life where I dwelled on the hurt people caused me. They have made their mistakes and I have found healing through relentless forgiveness. Forgiveness is not a one-size-fits-all solution. Some actions were not mistakes and are too devastating to be forgiven.
Choosing forgiveness was NOT easy but seeing those who caused pain embark on radical change led to hope and relief. Reading the book “The Body Keeps the Score” helped me along the way. Again, I want to make it clear that this is what worked for my journey and my psyche. I honor what one has to do to find peace. Finding peace is quite subjective and curated to the individual.
I realized the words I use in my everyday speech played a role in bringing down my mood or uplifting my mood. Sometimes we have these phrases that describe our experience and there isn’t another option to paint the picture of what we are attempting to communicate. Our language often grows vague and there is ground fertile for confusion and miscommunication. When I use the term generational habit, it is by no means a way to water down deep pain that one has experienced. Trust me, I know. It is rather a way to take care of myself and my mind.
Our Role As The Breakers
With that being said, how are you? Are you the giver and receiver, the voice of reason and peace maker when it comes to breaking generational habits?
Are you the child that “got away” to never return? And did you find your own mind, beliefs and wants in life after you left? So now you have gained knowledge and experience that can help alleviate these habits within yourself? Ever see the show “Bloodline” on Netflix? Yup, I’m talking to all the “Dannys”.
This is my message to the one that “got away”.
You think that you have so much work to do. You understand and see others habits and how they may be destroying their own potential. But look…it’s not your job to change anyone else. And in this, it’s not your job to judge either. We may have intuition but we are not mind readers. One’s journey with their psyche/God/divine understanding/self-actualization is their responsibility.f
Maybe breaking your older family’s generational habits isn’t supposed to be your job.
Maybe teetering away and finding your own voice was simply what you needed to do.
Dissecting the false stories we told ourselves after all these years was what you needed to do.
Understanding your family may use you as a scapegoat and knowing how to establish boundaries was what you need to do.
You didn’t need to exhaust yourself trying to change them.
You don’t need to use any more mind space to wonder why they won’t say sorry for hurting you.
You really shouldn’t spend time wondering why they may not come visit you.
And if starting a family is in your destiny, that is when those habits can be broken and turned into a new realm of possibility all under your wisdom.
